Narratives of Early Deaths

I remember when Aaliyah died in 2001, I was confused as to why my sister took it so hard. As she sobbed at the news of the young singer’s death in a plane crash, I said something like, “But you didn’t even know her!” Though her tears, all my sister could manage was, “It’s just so sad.” Indeed, it was. The singer, actress, budding performance sensation was only 22 at the time, and undoubtedly headed for mega-stardom. On top of that, the crash seemed rather preventable given the media’s reported stories of the plane carrying too much weight. The rest of that story, (whether or not it is true I am unsure) was that the singer had insisted on the extra luggage being loaded on the flight. Hence, depending on what sources one believed, some folks thought her death was an unavoidable tragedy, while others blamed the dead woman to some degree.

The death of Robin Williams prompted me to look at one story after another of tragic loss of life. As a society, bad news is the only news, it seems. Stories of Williams hanging himself bled in to stories of Cory Monteith, only a little over a year earlier apparently accidentally overdosing on a lethal mix of heroin and alcohol, then to stories of Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Brittany Murphy, Heath Ledger, etc., all with similar accidental circumstances.

Here’s a brief list of some of these kinds stories: http://www.drugs.com/celebrity_deaths.html

In particular, early deaths of celebrities, even more specifically those at the hand of the self, are of interest to the public at large. As I read about Robin Williams, the two dominant narratives seemed to be that of hero or villain. This black and white interpretation of early death is fascinating to me, and as you can see from the above site, and an endless list of other sites with a quick google search, not at all new.

Because we encounter pictures of and stories about celebrities on a minute by minute basis, especially in our ever-more technologically advanced world, we really feel like we know them. That coupled with the illusion of anonymity on the internet leads us to feel free to make public declarations of what we think. The most common conclusions that I have encountered are that the person was a complete victim of their addiction, depression, other life circumstances or that they were a person who just chose to kill themselves or engage in behavior that would likely kill them.

I find it difficult to accept that one has no power whatsoever and I have an almost equally hard time believing that someone has complete power in these kinds of situations. My perspective comes from a couple of influences: 1) I was/am (depending on how you view it) an alcoholic who had her last drink on May 8, 2006, and 2) I have been acquainted with a few people who fall in to the category of “Celebrity.”

My personal experience with addiction leads me to the conclusion, that while it’s pretty easy to get lost in it, there is at least some level of choice at every step along the way. I must be transparent here. I only drank for about three years, and I was to some degree (pun intended, I actually completed two different degrees and got a good start on a third while drinking) functioning. The last few months leading to going to my first AA meeting, I was practically begging my roommate to demand I stop. I felt that she was the most Godly woman I had ever met, and I am forever grateful that she found the courage to give me an ultimatum, followed by a lot of compassion and encouragement as I learned to live without booze.

My acquaintance with a few famous people has clearly demonstrated to me that I have no clue what it is like to live in their shoes. I have been blessed to know or at least have met a few celebrities, all of whom have been much nicer and grounded that I would expect celebrities to be. The constant demand of living under the microscope and being declared a role model must be exhausting. On top of that, every move a celebrity makes is made in to a statement of some kind, whether they intend it to be or not. That is a pressure I cannot envy.

While celebrity early deaths are no more or no less significant that the all too frequent untimely deaths of the everyday person, these deaths are more publically analyzed. I wonder what it says about us as a society that we are still largely painting with a broad brush to retroactively make the dead victim or villain, or say much of anything at all about it. This over analysis, which I have obviously just indulged in myself, may provide those left behind with a little space, or it may put the spotlight more on them. Regardless of the specific cause of these untimely accidental and self-inflicted deaths, those left behind are left to mourn without ever having a satisfactory answer.

I leave you with my favorite public way someone has dealt with this kind of loss: